- Get big round from VCs for startup with “pay per follow” business model.
- Win the Tour de France seven times before getting Twitter account.
- Tweet every affiliate discount code you can find with standard opening “I’ve wanted one of these for years!”
- Perfect elusive 140 character “jokes about affiliate discount codes” bot.
- Study The Bloggess carefully and tweet things like “I’m beginning to wonder why I even have minions in the first place.” Oh wait, she doesn’t make money either.
- Buy the Guy Kawaski book in which he reveals the secret of how to do 20 tweets in the hour after you tweet that you’re off to play hockey.
- Invent next generation social network in which you merely think 140 characters and telepathic interface makes it flash through follower’s minds.
- Counterfeit a Harvard degree and hire yourself out as an online celebrity impersonator. To Britney? Oh, never mind.
- Hack Mr. Tweet, Twittertise and all the MommyTweeters.
- Figure out how to get paid for writing “Top 10 Ways to Make a Living Being a Witty Writer who Wears Sweats and Refreshes Twitter Page All Day”
